Tag Archive | loving relationship

Is It In His Kiss?

Many of you are asking ‘how to …’ questions so in this week’s article/blog I have selected ten of the most common ‘how to’s …’ to answer. These are just my thoughts so do go to the comments link and add your own.

  1. How Do I Know he/she Loves Me?
  2. How Can I please Him?
  3. How Do I know he means it?
  4. How can I make him happy?
  5. How do I know what women want most in a relationship?
  6. How do I prove I love her?
  7. How do I let her know I love her?
  8. How do I know it will last forever?
  9. How do I show him I love him?
  10. How do I know if I can trust her?

The song written by Rudy Clark in 1964, and made famous by Cher in 1991, titled ‘It’s In His Kiss’ may answer some of these questions. Here are the lyrics:

kiss on the stepsDoes he love me?
I wanna know!
How can I tell if he loves me so?
(Is it in his eyes?)
Oh no! You need to see!
(Is it in his size?)
Oh no! You make-believe!
If you wanna know
If he loves you so
It’s in his kiss!
(That’s where it is!)

(Oh yeah! Or is it in his face?)
no girls! It’s just his charms!
(In his warm embrace?)
no girls! That’s just his arms!
If you wanna know
If he loves you so
It’s in his kiss!
(That’s where it is!)
yeah!! It’s in his kiss!
(That’s where it is!)

Oh, oh, oh, honey !
Squeeze him tight!
Find out what you wanna know!
promise love, and if it really is,
It’s there in his kiss! …

Is it really in his kiss, or in his eyes or face or arms? Or is it in none of these? Does this song really sum it all up or is there more to it.

Well, I think there is a whole lot more to it. And if you think the answers are to be found anywhere outside of the relationship, I think that you might also be looking in the wrong place.

So if the answers are not in their kiss, and not out there, where are they?
I’ll answer that question in a moment. Let me firstly say this: What these kinds of questions echo for me is that either you’re not asking the right questions or you just don’t trust yourself, or your intuition, enough to believe that what you’re hearing is the truth, or that they are actually lies.

Or maybe you’re just not asking any questions at all out of fear of what you’ll hear or worse, that you might get an outright rejection. Maybe this is because you’re not yet sure enough about your own love; either of the other or of yourself or do not have an absolute belief that you are worthy of love. What happens then instead is that you try to guess what’s really going on or hope that someone else may be able to help with the answers.

Maybe the issue here is really about trust: Trust of yourself to know the truth when you hear it and/or trust of the other to believe that what they are saying will answer your questions truthfully.

So where do you find the answer to these questions? Ask the person who really should be answering them. The truth really is there, and is plain to see when you open yourself to it. Be brave – ask the questions you really want to know the answers to and trust that he or she will answer you honestly. Then look into your own heart to determine if the response actually is the truth: If it is you’ll know it. If it’s not or you still are not sure maybe this person is not the one you should commit yourself to.

If, after getting the answers to your questions you feel sure about the answers then kiss him or her often and take the time to make it heartfelt. Show him or her through your kiss that you truly love them. The only question I have for you then is ‘how could they not love you forever?’

So until next time – Relate with Love

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10 Secrets to Achieving Perfect Harmony In Your Marriage

Sometimes it is the little things that maintain the peace in a relationship and sometimes it is the bigger decisions that can either harm or help the harmony in the household.

Being aware of your partner’s likes and dislikes is one way to achieve marital harmony. This awareness allows you to operate in a way that keeps your partner’s preferences in mind. If you know what your partner likes and doesn’t like you can take precautions to not engage in an activity that will hurt your partner. Additionally, your partner will respect your consideration of their feelings.

Sharing in the decision-making process is also critical to achieving marital harmony. This is important for a couple of reasons. Firstly it gives you the opportunity to work together to make the important decisions that will affect you both and secondly it helps to make you both feel involved in the process. Also, if one of you takes the responsibility of making decisions without consulting your partner it can lead to resentment especially if the decision turns out to be a bad one.

Another secret to achieving marital harmony is to ensure there’s a balance your career and home life. It is easy to get caught up in your job responsibilities and to begin to allow your job to take precedence over your relationship.

It’s important to realize that no job is more important than your relationship. There may be times that you need to work late or on weekends but try to keep these instances to a minimum. Also, strive to not bring your work home, either physically or mentally, and allow it to encroach on your marriage.

It’s OK to share information about your day and vent any problems you may have had for a little while but going on and on about your job is simply not helpful to anyone least of all you

While agreement is not always possible, it is important for you to realize that even during arguments it’s possible to maintain harmony.

Every marriage is bound to have its problems and disagreements but it’s important to not let that problem linger. When disagreements arise, try working out an amicable agreement but when this is not possible sometimes you just have to agree to disagree and move on with your marriage.

Remember that each morning is a new day and strive to wake up having forgotten any arguments you may have had with your spouse on the previous day. If you made your best effort to resolve the problem and were unable to reach a resolution, set a time to come back to it when both of you are ready, or better still just let it go and start the new day out happy.

Agreeing on financial matters is also key to achieving marital harmony. Money is one of the biggest issues that create the arguments in a marriage; If both of you are aware of your current financial situation and are willing to work together to establish a budget and stick to it, you will avoid unnecessary disagreements.

Perhaps an important secret to achieving marital harmony that is often overlooked is knowing your partner and discussing major issues before getting married. For example if you have always wanted children, it’s best to find out your partners view on children before getting married. Differences of opinion in an area such as this can doom a marriage.

Keeping politics and other sensitive issues separate from who you are as a couple is also important to maintaining harmony. It’s inevitable that you will have opposing viewpoints on certain issues and debate your beliefs but allowing these issues to create a rift it your marriage is not OK. Two people can exist harmoniously in a marriage even with opposing viewpoints as long as they respect each other’s opinions.

Another way to achieve marital harmony is to allow each other some time to be alone. It’s important to spend time together and share interests but sometimes too much time together can become stifling. It’s important for each of you to have interests or hobbies that you participate in without your spouse. This time away from each other helps to maintain harmony by respecting your individuality and need to sometimes do things separately from each other.

Being respectful of your spouse is also very important to achieving marital harmony. Couples that treat themselves and each other with respect are able to maintain a sense of civility and accord even during disagreements. This feeling of respect will help you remain harmonious even in the most trying situations.

One last secret to achieving marital harmony is to share household chores. A couple that divides up the responsibilities in the household and strives to help each other out whenever possible will have an easy time maintaining harmony.

If you have to go as far as drawing up a list of chores and who is responsible for them, go ahead and do that. A written document illustrating who does what around the house will make it clear if one person is carrying too much of the load as well as clarifying exactly what needs to be done.

It is important to not confuse harmony with agreement. Couples do not have to agree on every issue in order to have a sense of marital harmony. There are many factors that contribute to whether or not a marriage is harmonious. Some factors may be bigger than others, but they are all equally important in achieving marital harmony.