In the article “When It’s Time to Say Goodbye (part One)” I addressed three important questions for you to ask yourself before making a decision to end a relationship. If you haven’t read that article yet go to my page and find it. The questions are worth taking a closer look at if you are thinking in any way that it might be time for you to say goodbye to your relationship.
I know that dealing with these issues is about as much fun as getting root canal work done, but by doing it, you have taken an important step in getting this relationship out of the ditch that you might be seeing yourself in right now.
By getting truthful about your relationship you may have identified some dangerous and powerfully destructive forces in your life that you must deal with immediately if your relationship is to survive.
So the really big question here is: are you in this relationship because you really want to be, or are you here because you just don’t know how to get out of it?
And if you are spending your life with someone because it’s just easier not to get out of it, this is just not a healthy option and if you feel this way, then you’ve got some work to do.
Nevertheless, by asking these three really important questions, you’re recognizing, and acknowledging, how you feel and this is the beginning of the journey towards finding a resolution. This is a much better place to be in than in denial of the truth.
On the other hand, if you have come to the end of these questions and you are thinking, ‘my relationship is far worse than I thought’, I am going to ask you to pause for just a moment. There have been many, many relationships that have been on the brink of disaster, that have found their way back, and I see them in my counselling room everyday.
If you are here maybe the first thing you should do is seek some professional help to determine whether it really is time to quit or to reassess what you are doing that may be aggravating the situation. Sometimes doing some personal work with a Counselor can put you in a better place within yourself without doing much at all to the relationship. As I often say to my clients; sometimes by changing one half of the equation, in this case you, the other half of the equation has to change as well.
So until next time – Relate with Love