The wedding and the honeymoon have now become long distant memories as you, a newly formed couple, settle in to the reality of married life. And while adjusting to being part of a couple brings its own challenges nothing can adequately prepare you for what lies ahead as you contemplate expanding your newly created family further through the introduction of a child.
While the birth of your first child may be a glorious and blessed event that you both look forward to, the arrival of a new baby will inevitably put strains on your relationship.
The addition of a new element into the relationship that previously comprised just the two of you can be stressful. As you learn to balance your time and ensure that both your partner and your child are receiving enough of your attention, there may be a period where the stress of making this adjustment causes a breakdown in communication.
While they don’t begrudge the attention that you lavish on the new baby it does take an adjustment period to deal with the fact that they no longer are the centre of your universe, or you there’s, with your undivided attention.
Also, typically the birth of a baby leads to a complete change of routine as well as sleep deprivation for you both.
While you may have previously been used to doing things as you please, you now realize that most activities must be planned around the baby’s schedule which is often unpredictable. This new schedule, coupled with the lack of sleep that typically plagues new parents, can put a great deal of pressure on your relationship.
To avoid a total communication breakdown it is important for you both to realize that you need to allocate time to spend with the baby and also with each other. You also need to realize that the sleep deprivation is affecting you both and take turns getting up with the baby. This is even important for those of you where one of you is working at a paid job during the day.
Most importantly accept that everything you used to do may now not be possible. Your home may not be as tidy as it used to be. The dishes may not always get done immediately.
The lesson to learn here is this: Don’t be too tough on yourself. Make plenty of time for rest and recuperation and don’t forget that it’s still important to make some time for fun. This might be for each of you separately from each other as well as together.
And, above all, keep talking to each other. The only sure way for your partner to know what’s going on for you is that you communicate it to them. Remember that when you are both in stress overload you are not so able to be thinking so clearly of the needs of each other. So check in with each other as a matter of course, preferably daily or at least weekly to ensure you are aware of where each of you is at.
Make the time to really hear each other out for there will be good things to share and there may also be some difficult things to share.
These few simple steps can go a long way in reversing or preventing a communication breakdown and even be your guiding light to making your relationship even more than it was otherwise going to be.
So until next time – Relate with Love