How Do I Know … ?


Many of you are asking ‘how to …’ questions so in this week’s article/blog I have selected ten of the most common ‘how to’s …’ to answer. These are just my thoughts so do go to the comments link and add your own.

  1. How Do I Know he/she Loves Me?
  2. How Can I please Him?
  3. How Do I know he means it?
  4. How can I make him happy?
  5. How do I know what women want most in a relationship?
  6. How do I prove I love her?
  7. How do I let her know I love her?
  8. How do I know it will last forever?
  9. How do I show him I love him?
  10. How do I know if I can trust her?

The song written by Rudy Clark in 1964, and made famous by Cher in 1991, titled ‘It’s In His Kiss’ may answer some of these questions. Here are the lyrics:

Does he love me?
I wanna know!
How can I tell if he loves me so?

(Is it in his eyes?)
Oh no! You need to see!
(Is it in his size?)
Oh no! You make-believe!
If you wanna know
If he loves you so
It’s in his kiss!
(That’s where it is!)

(Oh yeah! Or is it in his face?)
No girls! It’s just his charms!
(In his warm embrace?)
No girls! That’s just his arms!
If you wanna know
If he loves you so
It’s in his kiss!
(That’s where it is!)
Yeah!! It’s in his kiss!
(That’s where it is!)

Oh, oh, oh, honey!
Squeeze him tight!
Find out what you wanna know!
Promise love, and if it really is,
It’s there in his kiss! …

Is it really in his kiss, or in his eyes or face or arms? Or is it in none of these? Does this song really sum it all up or is there more to it?

Well, I think there is a whole lot more to it. And if you think the answers are to be found anywhere outside of the relationship, I think that you might also be looking in the wrong place.

So if the answers are not in their kiss, and not out there, where are they?

I’ll answer that question in a moment. Let me firstly say this: What these kinds of questions echo for me is that either you’re not asking the right questions or you just don’t trust yourself, or your intuition, enough to believe that what you’re hearing is the truth, or that they are actually lies.

Or maybe you’re just not asking any questions at all out of fear of what you’ll hear or worse, that you might get an outright rejection. Maybe this is because you’re not yet sure enough about your own love; either of the other or of yourself or do not have an absolute belief that you are worthy of love. What happens then instead is that you try to guess what’s really going on or hope that someone else may be able to help with the answers.

Maybe the issue here is really about trust: Trust of yourself to know the truth when you hear it and/or trust of the other to believe that what they are saying will answer your questions truthfully.

So where do you find the answer to these questions? Ask the person who really should be answering them. The truth really is there, and is plain to see when you open yourself to it. Be brave – ask the questions you really want to know the answers to and trust that he or she will answer you honestly. Then look into your own heart to determine if the response actually is the truth: If it is you’ll know it. If it’s not or you still are not sure maybe this person is not the one you should commit yourself to.

If, after getting the answers to your questions you feel sure about the answers then kiss him or her often and take the time to make it heartfelt. Show him or her through your kiss that you truly love them. The only question I have for you then is ‘how could they not love you forever?’

So until next time – Relate with Love

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