Here’s the story of Tom and Pamela. They met; fell in love, and everything seemed so right. To him that is.

For her it was far from right. Then one day, out of the blue, she tells you she’s “had enough” and is gone, or worse still, she asks you to pack your bags and move out. Sometimes she doesn’t even ask you to pack your bags but she does it for you or just throws your stuff out on the street.

That would be the most humiliating experience anyone has ever had to face and happens more times than we might think.

What do you do now?

After you’ve picked yourself up and settled the anger that’s raging inside of you, you need to ask yourself a few questions.

• Do you really want to be with your girlfriend again?
• Do you still love her very much?
• Is it more important than anything to be with her again?

If yes, then you will have to be careful and restrained. If you really want her back, you need to follow some tips. The first thing you need to do to get her back is to:

Think from her perspective. i.e.: Think like a girl.

You see the problem here is simply that you’ve been thinking like a guy. Guys always seem to miss the subtle clues that girls give off constantly that lets you know if you’re doing the right thing or not. And the most frustrating thing about this is that girls expect you to know this without having to tell you. It will be subtle and you are being tested so always pay attention to what is not being said as well as what is being said.

Really; only when you stop thinking like a man and start thinking like a woman can you possibly understand what’s really going on. And once you’ve got this figured out you will be able to act the way she likes.

The most important thing you should know is DON’T BE CHILDISH. Do not beg, do not follow her everywhere like a puppy and most importantly do not become a stalker. If you will do so she will get even more irritated and will dislike you all the more. That will probably leave you even more desperate.

So don’t show up at her work or wherever she is, thinking she might get back with you if you do. If you do anything like this then you will never be able to get her back.

You need to control your emotions. Girls don’t like men who beg or plead. Women choose men with a healthy ego. Girls like men with an attitude.

PS ‘an attitude’ though is not about thinking you’re better than everyone else. An attitude is about thinking and knowing you are OK no matter what.

And do not call her ten times in a day. Let her know that you still want to be friends with her, by calling her once after one or two weeks have gone by in which she’s had some time to decide what she really wants.

Maturity is the quality that girls like the most. Show her that you are still interested and mature enough to be willing to look at your faults and to hear her out before deciding if there is something you could or should do differently.

It might be that there are some things you’d like her to do differently as well but now is not the time to be highlighting those. Just use this time to really listen to her. Find out what the issues are and decide what there is to learn from this experience so you can then demonstrate a change in how you are with her.

And if that is good enough you’ve got a real chance of winning her back. If not she’ll let you know that too.

Follow these tips and you might not even have to ask her to get back with you. She might just ask you to come back herself.

So until next time – Relate with Love